Wake Up Dave!
by Averon The Awesome
Summary: Jade and John always sneak into Dave's room when he and his paradox sibling, Rose, are asleep. What happens there is always a secret between the two, and they always make sure to document the event on film. Based off of Wake Up Spencer! by iCarly.
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks to an idea given to me by Livvykitty (Check out her stories too! There's a Homestuck/Ib story coming soon!) this was born! Enjoy, and make sure to check out the original video!**

**Disclaimer: Livvykitty and I own the idea, Hussie owns Homestuck, and whoever own iCarly owns said show.**

"Do you have the camera?" Jade asked.

"Yeah, it's right here!" John said, holding up said device.

"This is the best idea we've ever had!" Jade squealed.

"Shhhh!" John beckoned his paradox sister towards the door of resident coolkid, Dave Strider. He slowly opened it. In his bed, Dave was sleeping like a baby. It was Jade and John's job to ruin that. John turned on the camera.

"Okay, this is Dave's room!" John whispered, pointing the camera at various objects.

"And there's Dave's bed right over there!" Jade said, pointing to the sleeping figure. "Ooh, show them the clock!"

John nodded and turned the camera to the digital clock on the bedside table next to Dave's shades. "It's just after 3:30 in the morning!" John nodded to Jade. "Okay, let's wake him up!"

"Let's do it!" Jade agreed as they tiptoed over to the bed. They stifled their laughter as best they could.

"Okay, go!" John whispered.

Jade took a deep breath and yelled "HEY DAVE!"

"DAVE!" John called.

Dave flailed around, kicking his sheets aside. He didn't open his eyes, but turned towards the two. "WALADA WHAT what? What's going on?"

"How many quarts are in a gallon?" Jade asked.

"What?"

"Do you remember your third grade teacher?" John asked.

"Mrs. Horton?"

"How tall was Mrs. Horton?" Jade asked, stifling her giggles.

"Four quarts!" Dave slammed his head into his pillow, almost sleeping again. "What time is it?"

"What's your opinion on global warming?" John laughed.

"What do you mean?" Dave sat up again, his eyes barely slipping open. "Turn on the air conditioner."

"What's better: Spicy tuna or yellowtail?" Jade giggled.

"We're talking about sushi?" Dave fell backwards again. "What is the-where's Mrs. Horton?"

"LOOK OUT FOR THE RACCOONS!" John yelled.

Dave started to flail again, nearly knocking the camera out of John's hands. "RACCOONS LOOK LIKE BANDITS GET 'EM OFF!"

The paradox siblings were laughing their butts off. Jade asked "Why are you at my house?"

Dave squinted at her. "What? I'm sorry, I thought I was-wait-what's going on? What time is it?"

"Four quarts!" John gasped between giggles.

"Oh good, there's still time." Dave whispered, his head hitting his pillow again.

"For what?" Jade giggled.

Dave shot up, his eyelids split enough to reveal his red pupils. "IDONKNOW. WHATTIMEISIT?."

"Raccoon o'clock!" John yelled.

"What? Who's... global warming. Eh... spicy tuna. Mrs. Horton?"

The kids were now rolling on the ground, unable to contain themselves.

"Thank you for giving us this interview." John giggled in a deep newscaster voice.

"What?"

"Jade and John out!" Jade said in an older woman's voice.

"What?" Dave was finally too tired to continue, and finally fell asleep as his head slammed into his pillow for the fourth time.

The paradox siblings laughed as they ran out of Dave's room, turning off the camera as they headed towards the transportalizers that would take them to their respective homes. They waved goodbye as their post-laugh-fit grins were present on their faces.

**This was fun. I like this story. ::::33**

**DO NOT QUESTION MY EMOTICON!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I made another chapter! ::::DD**

**Disclaimer: Same as last chapter!**

"It's the green button! You push it!"

"I pushed it! We're filming!"

John and Jade, two partners in crime, were currently in Dave's room again, armed with their trusty camera and their randomness. Jade had been given control of the camera, and it was currently aimed at Dave's bed.

"Okay. Hey guys!" John greeted, waving at the camera. "We're back in Dave's room.."

"...For another episode of Wake Up Dave!" Jade finished.

"Where we wake up Dave and say really stupid things to him!"

The kids started to giggle, but quickly shushed themselves.

"It's 4:07 in the morning! Look!" Jade aimed at the clock, which now had the shades on top of it, seemingly like it was wearing them.

"This is a perfect time for waking up Dave!" John said.

The kids tiptoed over to Dave's bed. Jade aimed at the pillows, which had a head-shaped bulge under them. "Pull back the blanket!" She told her brother. John obliged and grabbed the sheets, pulling them back to reveal Dave's feet.

"WHOA!" He exclaimed. "I did_ not _expect feet!"

"His head must be down here!" Jade aimed the camera where the feet should have been, pulled back the blankets, and revealed Dave's head.

"DAVE WAKE UP! YOU LEFT MILK IN THE REFRIGERATOR!" John yelled, fake panic in his voice.

The coolkid quickly turned towards the derp. "Whaaaat? I did? Get it!" He stopped, squinting at his ceiling. "Wait. Isn't the milk _supposed_ to be in the fridge?"

"HEY! What happened to your hair?!" Jade yelled, pointing at said body part.

"Whydoesitlookbad?" Dave slurred, bright red eyes staring sleepily at the kids. "Andisthemilkokay?"

"Ding dong!" John said.

"I'LLGETIT!" Dave yelled.

The kids started to giggle, knowing it wouldn't be long before the good stuff came along.

"Would you like to buy some Squirrel Scout Cookies?" Jade asked in a high-pitched voice.

"I dunno. Is the-I didn't know squirrels sold cookies."

"Where did you leave the alphabet?!" John yelled. "I CAN'T FIND THE ALPHABET!"

"Check in the fridge! It's on the top shelf." Dave squinted. "Wait, the alphabet. ABBA DABBA FEE."

"Quick! Turn left!" Jade directed.

Dave turned right, rolling himself in his sheets. "WHATAMIDOING what did I do?!"

"YOU RAN OVER A HOBO!" John cried.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Dave patted his pillow. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry Hobo!"

"Do you know the Muffin Man?" John asked.

"The Muffin Man?"

"THEMUFFINMAN!" Jade said in a silly voice.

"THEMUFFINMAN!" John copied.

"Wait... I don't know, I just... I wanna be on the pillow." Dave mumbled as he dug his head into the pillow.

"What's 2-2?" John asked, trying his best to remain calm to ask questions.

"It's.. Is it? Oh yeah." Dave slowly started to breath normally, and he sighed happily.

"Oh man, he fell asleep!" John whined.

"DAVE!" Jade yelled.

Dave shot up, flailing as he so often did. "WHAT?! WHERE IS IT?!"

"GOOD NIIIIGHT!" The paradox siblings sang.

"Okay! Where did I put the milk? Where is it?" And he fell onto his pillow again.

The kids were now laughing even harder than they were earlier as they walked out of Dave's room.

**And another chapter joins this story! I would watch the videos if I were you; They're really good!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Guess who just got their ears not-whacked-up today? (P.S. EVERYTHING IS SO LOUD OMA. [Oh My Arceus]) So in celebration(ish) of all things 2tupiid, I wrote the next chapter to Wake Up Dave! Enjoy this!**

"Is it on?" Jade giggled.

John giggled back.

"Is it on?"

"I think so!" John replied, turning the camera to the clock. "Okay, it's 3:17 A.M. and we're here again in Dave's room."

"We're about to wake him up and ask him some random questions!" Jade said.

John shushed her. "C'mon!" The two didn't even bother to tiptoe to the bed, giggling the entire way.

"Okay, wake him up!" Jade said.

"Use the mop!" John instructed.

Jade obliged and dangled a mop in front of Dave's face, knocking him out of his well-needed sleep.

"What's go-what happened? What's going on?" Dave stuttered, squinting around the room.

"What do you want for lunch?" John asked.

Dave blinked his already closed eyes. "Lunch? What time is it? Who said lunch?"

"HIPPYDIPPYYIPPYDIPPYDOO!" John yelled.

Dave shook his head. "I am sorry, I do not speak Spanish." The kids giggled, Dave's eyes resting on them before squinting shut again.

"DAVE! GET THE DUCK OFF YOUR FACE!" John cried.

Dave swatted at his face. "I don't-I don't have..." Dave glared at the kids through lidded eyes. "There's no duck on my face."

"'Quack quack,' said the fat policemen!" Jade announced, making both of the kids giggle uncontrollably.

Dave shook his head, squinting. "Wait. Quack? Ju-Just tell him to go on a diet." Dave tried desperately to fall asleep, but it wouldn't work.

"Who?" John asked.

"What? The-The fat... The fat duck. The cop. Police-men. I'msotired." Dave cried, slowly falling onto his pillow. "I'MSOTIRED."

* * *

**A few seconds later, but not many==**

"He fell back asleep!" John whined.

Jade grinned mischievously. "I'll poke him again!" She nudged the mop (which had been placed beside the girl for later use) at Dave's face. The boy immediately shot up. "Terezi?"

The kids laughed. "Ooh yes, I'm Terezi! Sniff my hair!" Jade mimicked the trolls voice as best she could, nudging the mop closer to Dave's nose. The boy leaned into the mop, sniffing. He immediately shot backwards, grabbing his nose. "Terezi, you need to use shampoo."

"What about Thursday?"

"DAVE!" John yelled.

"NYAAH?!" Dave yelled.

"WHAT TIME IS NINE O'CLOCK?"

"IS IT MY BIRTHDAY?!" Dave asked, a huge grin on his face. This caused the kids to burst out laughing as Jade shouted "WATCH OUT FOR THE SMUPPET!"

"I don't know what to do." Dave said, looking around.

"You may kiss the Smuppet!" John announced, trying to sound manly and failing.

Dave's eyes shot open, but he didn't register his friends or his Smuppet-free room. "Idon'twannakisstheSmuppet! Getitaway!" He swatted at the air furiously.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife!" Jade said in a manly voice, out-maning John's in every way.

"BUT I DON'T LOVE THE SMUPPET!" Dave yelled. Jade attempted to repeat the phrase, but her laughter stole the words from her.

"Wait, am I married?!" Dave exclaimed. "I DON'T LOVE HER!"

"Bye Dave!" Jade smiled, leaving the room.

"Idon'tlovetheSmuppet." Dave sighed, falling asleep.

* * *

**The next day==**

Dave stomped over to the paradox siblings, who were talking to Karkat and Tavros. At the sight of the coolkid, Tavros absconded and Karkat burst out laughing. This only fueled Dave's anger as he showed the kids his phone.

"Dave, we can expl-"

"Shut the fuck up, John!" Dave interrupted him by shoving a hand on his mouth. John licked it, freeing him from the angry grasp.

"Dave, it was all in good fun!" Jade said. "And look at the views! You're famous!"

Dave's eyes were full of fire as he glared at Jade, who shrunk under his gaze. He stared both of the kids in the eye. "Bottom line. This happens again, I'm going to go into the past and murder you." He left the room, leaving the kids.

John and Jade looked at each other. Maybe he was right. Maybe they'd taken this too far. Maybe they should stop.

Karkat took a deep breath, recovering from his laughing fit and looking at the paradox siblings with a knowing glare. "You're going to do it again, aren't you."

"Yup." They replied simultaneously.

**And this chapter is done! These are really fun to write, and I can't wait for the next one to get started.**

**~ATA**


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